Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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