Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
