I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
