It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
