Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
whose ass print is on the piano?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
