i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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