All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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