Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
