don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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