She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
