i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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