cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This toilet bowl is my home.
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