I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
