WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
