We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
