i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
