there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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