can u get pink eye on your cock?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize