i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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