what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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