Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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