Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
