what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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