your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
