How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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