u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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