The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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