we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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