I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
