If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
