Are we in a gay sports bar?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You may now shotgun with the bride
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize