scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
In America we eat man semen.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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