So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
