State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
