So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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