At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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