okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
