so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
