How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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