Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
