You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
