I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
