No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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