Quick, to the slutcave!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
