Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
