This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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