Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
All the doctor said was why
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
