i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize