After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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