Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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