there's paper in my vomit.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
