I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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