So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
