I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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