New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I had to cum in my sink.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
