Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
