You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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