Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
